Assertiveness

People very often confuse assertiveness with aggressiveness.

Assertiveness is being firm in our stance and gentle with the person we are dealing with. We can be nice and respectful while being assertive.

It is important that we be assertive in our actions and words. Assertiveness is being independent, honest and in control.

In assertiveness we state:

• Facts
• Figures
• Feelings
• Needs
• Requests

We don't blame. We don't bring up past grievances. We don't complain. We don't judge. We don't shame. We don't taunt. We don't compare. We keep repeating over and over again to be heard.

And to be heard we need to listen and validate as well.

In assertiveness we be direct and upfront. We be very precise and concise. We don't hide or twist things. Though we can be tactful and use our knowledge of the person's temperament.