We have been talking about boundaries.
Boundaries are there to protect us and not to punish or avenge anyone.
It is about saying NO where you mean to say NO and saying Yes only where you mean to say Yes.
On the surface it seems that boundaries disrespect others. It is not disrespecting others but respecting yourself. When you begin to set boundaries people will respect you more and trust you more. You will gain their confidence because you show strength of character. They show your courage to stand up for yourself.
Boundary less people are confused and hurt. They lack decision power because they are afraid of showing their true self. They have low self esteem that is why it is important to win good opinion of others at any cost.
So if you want to be confident and make good decisions learn to set boundaries. Set them as politely and as possible. Be firm like a shell and not a jelly fish that anybody’s comment can shake you. People try their utmost to shake you from your stance sometimes by positive comments and sometimes by negative comments.
Be ready for such comments.
You are so sweet please don’t do this to me.
You are so kind you will never do this with me.
You are so polite how could you be so rude to say NO.
You are mean not to listen to me.
You are selfish. How could you not help me.
You are untrustworthy. I can’t trust you anymore.
You will be able to take those remarks only when you know your values and know that you are acting according to them.
Munira Ahmed